A client’s recent question “How do I stop hating someone?†prompted the following discourse. by Dolly Mae
From “New Revelations Newsletter – October 2008
http://www.atlantishealthcenters.com:80/revelations/newsletter-10-8-08.htm
How do we love an enemy? To give up all the resentments we have built up in our minds and hearts about an adversary is a daunting prospect. If we begin by loving what we can in any situation, we have set ourselves on a course of least resistance. Our goal will be achievable because from love all healing flows.
The object here is to love your fears to death, so it is advisable to begin at the easiest spot. Simply Love your hate. Love your judgment, anger, resentment, hostility, revenge or victim feelings. These are aspects of fear. Anything that is not loving is fear based. Simply love your feelings about your fear. When you love your feelings, whatever they are, you remove the resistance in your body. The mind, emotions and spirit relax into allowance. You begin to breathe again. You open up into softer, more pleasant feelings that were shut down in fear. You stop making yourself wrong. The big payoff is you begin to focus on love.
Don’t Try to Love the Person or Issue
When you begin by trying to love the issue or person that triggered your fears, it feels overwhelming. You create more fear in the form of frustration and resistance. You actually reinforce the negative feelings that surround the concept of enemy.
Your Shadow Side
Love your feelings, whatever they are, and you will find it easy to love your shadow side. You bring it out into the light and simply love it. Your shadow side is simply that part of you that you haven’t yet loved and keep hidden away. By loving all your feelings, love becomes your focus. You deny nothing. You embrace. You resist nothing. You allow. You love.
The Seeker’s Trap
We often feel we must root out our shadow side and work on fixing ourselves in order to be truly spiritual. I call this process ‘unearth to rebirth’. On a continuous basis, this is damaging to self. It is a metaphysical trap that goes like this:
I am willing to look at my negative side and work on my ‘stuff’.
I’m on a spiritual path here and I’m messed up.
Oh my gosh, I found more stuff. I’m really screwed up.
I’m still angry, frustrated and jealous.
I’m not doing spirituality right. I must get rid of these feelings.
If I were really a spiritual person I wouldn’t have these emotions.
Something is terribly wrong with me.
I have to look deeper at my negative side.
Deeper and deeper the seeker goes on a depressing, unending journey of focusing on faults. There is no hope or salvation here. It is a bottomless pit. In an effort to improve, they have learned to focus only on the negative which can only lead to more negativity.
You Don’t Need to Get Rid of Feelings
We are already spiritual beings and can still have these feelings. No feeling is negative except by our judgment and removal of love from them. They are part of the human walk. Embrace them. Deny them and we deny an aspect of ourselves. Love them and we raise their vibrations into alignment with our highest state of being.
Shadow Feelings
Actually it is quite normal to have shadow feelings. By being aware of them we have taken the first step into bringing them. This awareness leads us to question what to do with them. Love them. It is really that simple. Love our attitude about them. Love the fact that we have them. Love our ability to feel. Love our ability to have a shadow side. In doing this we are not denying them, we are embracing them into wholeness. We are focusing on love.
Love is Who We Are
Love is who we really are. It is our natural state. When it becomes our focus, life radiates out from its center in a loving way. Problems seem to dissolve. Pathways unfold. Dissension is resolved. Communication opens. A client asked about an employee review she was to do that day. She was extremely agitated about the employee’s reaction and began anticipating all sorts of unpleasant scenarios. She began memorizing responses to potential objections. I suggested she simply get in touch with her own heart. Feel love radiate. Come from a loving space and forget everything else. Just operate from love. The interview went fabulously: stress free and comfortable with heartfelt communication from both parties.
Golden Rule
This then is our power. We have all we need within. Love is unmatched in its ability to overcome all obstacles. None of this is new. It is the oldest story in the world. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. This promise says that to the extent we love ourselves we will express that same love to those who around us. It says AS, not first or last, but evenly. This statement is a promise, not a command. It expresses the truest aspect of the god within: Love.
So the seeker’s question is resolved in learning to love ones’ feelings and begins with loving oneself. It always starts there. It always ends in forgiveness and love. When we stop hating and start loving in our own personal space, war will cease to exist.
Dolly Mae explains how to triumph joyfully and playfully in her best selling books. A leading voice in the world of contemporary spiritually, Dolly Mae is an animated and humorous worldwide speaker with a profound depth of knowledge. www.dollymae.com 877.246.9569
